“When people ask us how long does it take for something to manifest, we say, ‘it takes as long as it takes you to release the resistance’.”
- Abraham Hicks
Resistance seems to have become that one lesson that has resonated with me throughout the month of December. I first came across the word resistance when I stumbled upon the quote by Abraham Hicks above. If I wanted to manifest something into my life, he says, it’s as simple as releasing the resistance.
I have to admit, understanding what resistance meant did not come so easily to me. In the dictionary we know resistance to be one of two things:
1. the act or power of resisting, opposing, or withstanding.
2. the opposition offered by one thing, force, etc., to another.
But how do we know what we are resisting? Especially when what we want to manifest is pretty clear. Why would I ever be in opposition to my manifestation? That just wouldn’t make sense now would it?
Again, if I were to go with the dictionary’s definition of it, then I would be able to say that there’s no way I’ve been resisting my dream. Recently, however, life has thrown me a pretty clear example of what it means to resist.
Expectation vs Hope
Last week I was totally looking forward to seeing one particular person because I was ready to tell him how happy and blessed I was feeling about our friendship and how much we had managed to heal. I came ready, but I also came with the expectation that he would show me the same value. True enough I was disappointed to know that I wasn’t as much a priority as everything else in his life.
In an essay by Fr. James Donelan, S.J., he says that there is a difference between expecting and hoping. “HOPING”, he says, “means you’re open to either side of the coin landing though you’re more inclined to believe that things will turn out well. EXPECTING means you’re thinking single-track…which won’t do you much good at all.”
I sat in prayer on a Sunday morning and reflected on the events that were not happening. I felt so sad that I began a small pity party with myself and whoever I could get on the phone with me. Huhuhu. But then it dawned on me - I was attached to an outcome and a way of how things should be. I hoped for the best, but I started recognizing the parts of me that were in resistance.
Identifying the resistance
Resistance as it turns out comes in the form of denial, excuses, and justifications for poor behavior. It isn’t about consciously saying that we are opposed to something - but instead it is about how we tend to resist letting go of what can no longer exist for fear of the unknown.
Dr. Joe Dispenza says that when we are in a process of conscious change, the body will try to distract us by bringing us back into a familiar state - in my case the state of “oh poor me!” He says that when we slip into this familiar state, we spiral into the same thoughts - emotions - behaviors - experiences - like a safety blanket. But it is this uncertainty and discomfort that helps us step into a river of change.
My resistance sat on the fact that I was attached to a particular outcome. To spend quality time and have a genuine conversation with someone. It was simple - no frills - but I had continuously made excuses for the person to accept his behavior and punish myself. I was resisting my own worth and respect.
So as it turns out, I did have a hand in resisting my own manifestation - a compatible romantic life partner who would love and respect me - because I continued to make excuses for those who did not. One of the best lessons I took away from this experience was simply letting it all go - every single excuse, expectation, and hope that tied me to a specific outcome.
Today I write from a place in my heart that is fresh and is growing. I am learning to let go of my resistance for any and all kinds of dreams. I have found that there is freedom in the unknown and there is freedom in learning to become detached to an outcome.
How do you tend to resist your own manifestations? What / who do you continue to make excuses for?
May the season of mercury retrograde help you look deep into yourself and teach you how to let it all go.
Love and light,